Buxton Brewery – Axe Edge

Axe EdgeBrewery: Buxton Brewery – www.buxtonbrewery.co.uk / @BuxtonBrewery

Style: IPA

ABV: 6.8%

Purchased From: Holborn Cask Ales @Holborncaskales

Pouring and Look: Cloudy golden amber colour with a small but frothy cream head.

Smell: Fresh, dry hop bitterness with a sweet citrus undertone.

Taste: Initially you get hit with the bitter fresh hops but that quickly mellows and you start tasting the orange and grapefruit. Below all these big flavours there’s a nice mellow floral undertone.

Thoughts: This a truly fantastic IPA, it’s very refreshing and there’s a lot of complimentary flavours taking to the stage at different points to make it interesting. You can’t escape from the hops, they’re always there, but they are not as overpowering as similar beers which really makes Axe Edge a distinct IPA.

The Perfect Time to Drink It: “woo woo wooo” the intercom heralds the start of the announcement “This is Captain James T Kirk, can red shirts 89, 245, and 310 meet me in the transporter room for an away mission” the intercom clicks off. When did he start referring to us as just numbers? you ask yourself as you pull on your boots. You’ve had a good run, you’re the longest serving red shirt on The Enterprise; For two and half weeks you’ve been on Kirk’s floating love barge, you’ve protected the fool from the enraged male population of 72 different ‘M’ class planets as he cavorted with the local females, each time managing to get his shirt ripped. So far you’ve seen 152, or was it 185, fellow redshirts die whilst Kirk got his rocks off on an alien rock.  You know you’ve had a good run and you don’t mind dying for a cause, you just wish the cause was something more than Kirk’s trouser snake.

As you enter the transporter room Spock gives you an apologetic nod, it’s the closest thing to an emotion you’ll get from him but it means a lot. Bones is more forthcoming with his emotion, he begins to well up as he embraces you in a manhug and whispers “I’m sorry, the man’s an idiot but he’s the Captain and we can’t stop him”. At that moment Kirk struts into the transporter room, he walks like he’s got two melons down his trousers, he ignores everyone and walks over to the transporter pad “let’s get this show on the road” he barks “I’m horny and ready for some alien booty”.

You and the two other red shirts join him on the transporter pad and beam down to the planet.

5 hours later – There’s only you and Kirk left, the other two red shirts went for a burton when the local populace took umbrage to Kirk’s antics. You’re both running for your life as Kirk presses his telecom and asks for an emergency transport. The transporter room can’t lock onto you so you both have to make your way to an outcrop of rocks as the signal is clear there. You get to the rocks and can see the locals below you, they’re gaining and if they reach you and Kirk you’ll both be killed. Kirk’s got a crazy look in his eye, he can’t contain himself as he hops around like a mad man shouting insult at the chasing populace. Then he slips, it’s a glorious moment, he’s hanging onto the ledge screaming for your help, you can see the fear in his eyes now. Should I help him? you ask yourself and then you remember all of your fellow fallen red shirts. Your boot comes down hard onto Kirk’s face and he falls screaming to his judgement below, at that moment the transporter locks on beams you up, only you.

The transporter room is deadly silent. You can see it in their eyes; they know what you’ve done, they know you could have saved him but didn’t. It’s over you think, as dread begins to consume you. Then you see Spock smile, he slaps you on the back and then embraces you, he can’t speak but mouths the word “thank you” as Bones walks over and hands you an Axe Edge, you take a well deserved swig as a solitary tear rolls down your cheek.

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